I must confess, there was a time when fear, the stuff that has the ability to paralyse you, was foreign to me. Nothing would stop me in my tracks. If something made me fearful, I would put it down to a simple case of nerves and use those feelings to my advantage.
Being fearful or a little anxious wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in my books. For the most part fear and the feelings that came with it, were something to get excited about and meet head on. Fear inspired me.
For years, the clatter in my head was more like a fist pumping cheer squad egging me on. Being psyched up in a difficult situation, always helped me come out the other side on top. It was my coping mechanism.
I wasn’t exactly fearless but I wasn’t governed by fear. I certainly took risks but they were generally calculated ones. I controlled this side of things and being a control freak that worked for me.
I’m not sure what changed but these days, when faced with a couple of things I generally have developed a real fear for over the years, I feel more anxious than normal and I wonder if they haven’t actually developed into phobias.
My hubby has a genuine phobia when it comes to spiders. Always has. He breaks out in a sweat, loses the ability to function and almost needs a slap across the face or resuscitating and the sight of even the smallest and least deadliest spider.
The number of times we have been put in near death situations, due to a spider being in the near vicinity of our car when he is driving is in double digits. As a result, I have now developed a fear of being in the car with hubby if there is a spider around. I no longer can pick up giant huntsman with my bare hands and flick them out the car window. I now go straight into ‘will he crash the car if he sees this’ panic mode and look for a paper bag to blow into.
It’s not my only fear these days and while I’m a long way off Mr C’s reaction to spiders, I’m no longer able to control or manage some of the anxiety as well as I use to.
On the top of the list would be NEEDLES. Following an incident where a nurse broke a needle in my arm and the fact my veins go into hibernation mode when they see a needle, I have a real and developing fear of needles and blood tests in general. The more blood tests I have, and I’ve had more than a few over the years, the worse my fear gets.
While a couple of my fears can be explained away, there are the others that really do my head in because as far as I can tell there are no valid reasons and to me they are verging on irrational.
My Tier One Fears:
- Needles
- Blood Tests
- Confined Spaces
- Snakes
- Being in a car with Mr C when there is a spider
I have three levels of fears all up. The bottom level being the normal (to most) fears of getting old and dying. Which are more like life ponderings than actual fears. The middle of the range fears are questionable to say the least, not full blown fears but a step up from growing old and not something I want to share at this point in time.
So this week, the planets have aligned and it would seem I’m tackling a few of my top shelf, so called fears, head on. Starting with my MRI (brain scan) this morning.
A scan that requires me to be still, in a confined space for an extended period of time. It also involves a contrast dye being injected into me which I believe requires a intravenous drip or at the very least a needle.
I’m half expecting a car full of spiders and a room full of snakes to join me this morning, as hubby takes some time off work to accompany me for my MRI. I’m anxious to say the least and looking for interesting ways to combat my fears and get me through the morning.
I’ve clearly left it too late for a 30 day intensive phobia treatment plan and I’m completely hopeless when it comes to meditation.
Having a visual to focus on might be my best plan of attack. This could go two ways. I could visualise positive things or I could imagine hubby in a room full of spiders facing his fears. Now there’s a thought.
What I think I will do instead, is think about my Top 5 Blog projects that are currently in the pipeline for March:
- Lunch is on Me Callouts – Guest bloggers and lunch reviews
- Top 10 Places to Brunch in Perth
- Fitness Fashion Style Challenge – Giveaway and Mystery Shopping
- Worth Casing Awards Round 2 and presenting our winner from Round 1
- It’s a SIGN?! Instagram photo challenge and paying it forward project.
Do you have any fears, irrational or otherwise and how do you tackle them? Do you have any tips for me?
Gosh, sounds like a big day for you – I’d be preoccupied by a few fears myself. Hope everything goes well today. xx
Thanks Lisa, it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped and now I have the nervous wait for results. At least the MRI is out of the way.
It’s interesting how just thinking about your fear amplifies it so much. Great strategy to think about projects. I hope your MRI is not for anything too bad…that would be adding to the fear.
and the more you try to put it out of your mind the harder it is to do so.
Lots to think about on the blog if can banish those fears out of your head for a while. Good luck with the MRI. Just think of how on top of your big fears you’ll be when you come out the other side.
I ended up being more than ok during the procedure. Slight panic attack at the start but ended up having a bit of a reaction and needed to be under obs for the morning. Now waiting on the results.
Hope you are okay?
I think the biggest fear I would have on your list of fears – Hubby’s spider phobia! OMG I am so glad my Husband does not freak out about them. Last night he caught two Huntsman spiders in the boys’ room – two! This morning I found a mega Huntsman waiting from me on my bedroom window when I pulled back the drapes.
Thankfully I am not afraid of spiders or snakes (I don’t like the surprise factor), but I am afraid of other drivers on the road since we had a car accident several months back. PS: My eight year old Son has a pet Huntsman spider in an enclosure which he feeds daily. Yesterday, he caught one at school and popped it in his school bag!! My family might be slightly nuts?!
OMG my hubby would have a heart attack at your place. The MRI is for ongoing health issues that I’m trying to manage. Waiting on the results to confirm specialists thoughts.
I am a claustrophobic so I am terrified of being stuck in a confined space. I used to have nightmares that I was in water and could not get out because there was glass over the top and I was frantically pressing on the grass trying to get out. So a fear of drowning in a confined space should be added to the list. My parents are getting older – dad will be 85 in November, Mum will be 74 in May. When the phone rings later than 8:30pm I fear bad news. I fear how I will cope when that bad news does eventually happen. These days I also have lots more fears and anxieties that I know are ridiculous but exist nonetheless! It is because of my fears and anxieties that I am so interested in mindfulness and living in the present – to stop my mind getting carried away! Good luck today with your scan! That is a confined space *gulp*! 😉 x
Did you have an experience with drowning at some point? I worrying about my parents as they get older, especially given we are now over 4000 km away.
I’m going to try and practice being more mindful this month. It certainly helped for the MRI, need to keep practicing as I wait for results.
Yes, planning things can be a good distraction! I try to count my breathing as well, visualisations can help as well e.g. breathing calm in, exhaling anxiety out. Oh good luck, facing fears and anxieties can be terrible but powerful to get through!
The MRI wasn’t so bad but I ended up having a weird reaction afterward. Now to wait for the results.
Thinking of you today and I hope that it went well… scary. I hate really confined spaces, but only recently since having kids, before that they didn’t worry me. x
Thanks so much and happy birthday for the weekend. I think my fears have escalated since having children as well.
Did you take music or a meditation CD . They normally put a small cannula in and then inject the contrast half way through. Visualise calm things. You can do this.
There was no option for a CD or music. I was fine for the MRI. Slight panic attack to start with but all ok, only to have a weird reaction afterwards. Itchy and hives breaking out now.
Hope you are feeling better now. Our local Nuclear Medicine?imaging had CD option (country) and so did Kid’s Hospital (they had DVD) . You are not alone I lot of people struggle with the fear of the procedure and the reason for having it.
I can’t stop itching. I’m trying not to scratch myself silly. My online time is also up and I may just pick up my first book for the year.
I hope it wasn’t too bad for you today raychael!
I am trying to overcome my fears by meditating each evening before I go to sleep!
and having a list of positive affirmations to read and go through and add more or replace older redundant ones! mind over matter! easier said than done! but with focus one can take baby steps! that’s me!
hoping all will be ok with you! … much love m:)X
Thanks. Not so bad the actual MRI afterwards though, I could hardly see straight and I’m now itchy with hives.
I have shared my fear of open spaces and of mountains before. That can make things interesting when we go road tripping – I now try to confine most trips to the coast and away from mountains! I hope you were able to get through the test today x
Did you have a bad experience with mountains at one point?
MRI was sort of ok but I had a weird reaction afterwards. Just want the results as soon as possible, so I can move forward.
I hope all went well today with the MRI and it wasn’t too traumatic for you. I have a major fear of heights. I go weak at the knees and feel like I’m being sucked in over the edge. It’s horrible. Again, I hope all went well today. #teamIBOT
Slight panic attack to start with but it went ok, only for me to have a reaction afterwards. Could hardly see straight and now I’m itchy with hives. Looking forward to getting the results later this week and moving on.
I hope everything went oK hun – I have been thinking of you and just wanted to check in on how you are doing. My fear.. my greatest fear is something happening to my hubby or one of my boys. Anything else I can handle… but not that. Thinking of you xx
Thanks Sonia. Now the wait for results. I managed to get through the scan ok but had a weird reaction afterwards. Still itching and have hives. Drinking lots of water to flush the contrast dye out of me.
Hope everything well Raychael. I’m with you on confined spaces. And snakes. Hate snakes. Breathing techniques, visualisation and a stuff drink afterwards always helps x K
Managed to get through the procedure ok, only to have a reaction to the contrast dye. Have been itching myself silly ever since. Waiting on results, even though, I’ve been told what to expect, is also doing my head in.
I am riddled with fear, all of them quite irrational, from home invasions to mice and just about everything inbetween. I hate those confined space scans almost as much as the lying-still-for-half-an-hour-scans. I used to keep myself busy thinking about my to-do or to-blog list or think myself happy of all the wonderful things I could do when I escaped from the dreaded scan machine. Thinking of you and sending good vibes your way xx
I have a few of those fears too. I can’t believe I didn’t add dentists to my top tier list.
Delighted Mr C was there to hold your hand. I hope you are getting some answers. Cockroaches are my fear disgusting creatures and I find it very hard to hide my fear from my kid’s as I don’t want them to have such an irrational fear. Other than that there is not much else. I’m a bit like you and charge on maybe not getting scared until I really have to. Hope your week has been restful. X
Urgh I’m not great with cockroaches either. Must tell you a funny story about them when I see you next.
Having a child gave me a fear of flying, whereas before I used to love it. I also now fear any form of illness; flu, virus etc, in myself or my family. I went through a bad patch 7 years ago where I even feared sleeping. It’s amazing what our silly minds can get up to. A great psychologist helped me a lot but I still won’t fly 🙂
I think most of my fears have manifested or escalated since having children as well.