I must confess, there was a time when fear, the stuff that has the ability to paralyse you, was foreign to me. Nothing would stop me in my tracks. If something made me fearful, I would put it down to a simple case of nerves and use those feelings to my advantage.
Being fearful or a little anxious wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in my books. For the most part fear and the feelings that came with it, were something to get excited about and meet head on. Fear inspired me.
For years, the clatter in my head was more like a fist pumping cheer squad egging me on. Being psyched up in a difficult situation, always helped me come out the other side on top. It was my coping mechanism.
I wasn’t exactly fearless but I wasn’t governed by fear. I certainly took risks but they were generally calculated ones. I controlled this side of things and being a control freak that worked for me.
I’m not sure what changed but these days, when faced with a couple of things I generally have developed a real fear for over the years, I feel more anxious than normal and I wonder if they haven’t actually developed into phobias.
My hubby has a genuine phobia when it comes to spiders. Always has. He breaks out in a sweat, loses the ability to function and almost needs a slap across the face or resuscitating and the sight of even the smallest and least deadliest spider.
The number of times we have been put in near death situations, due to a spider being in the near vicinity of our car when he is driving is in double digits. As a result, I have now developed a fear of being in the car with hubby if there is a spider around. I no longer can pick up giant huntsman with my bare hands and flick them out the car window. I now go straight into ‘will he crash the car if he sees this’ panic mode and look for a paper bag to blow into.
It’s not my only fear these days and while I’m a long way off Mr C’s reaction to spiders, I’m no longer able to control or manage some of the anxiety as well as I use to.
On the top of the list would be NEEDLES. Following an incident where a nurse broke a needle in my arm and the fact my veins go into hibernation mode when they see a needle, I have a real and developing fear of needles and blood tests in general. The more blood tests I have, and I’ve had more than a few over the years, the worse my fear gets.
While a couple of my fears can be explained away, there are the others that really do my head in because as far as I can tell there are no valid reasons and to me they are verging on irrational.
My Tier One Fears:
- Blood Tests
- Confined Spaces
- Being in a car with Mr C when there is a spider
I have three levels of fears all up. The bottom level being the normal (to most) fears of getting old and dying. Which are more like life ponderings than actual fears. The middle of the range fears are questionable to say the least, not full blown fears but a step up from growing old and not something I want to share at this point in time.
So this week, the planets have aligned and it would seem I’m tackling a few of my top shelf, so called fears, head on. Starting with my MRI (brain scan) this morning.
A scan that requires me to be still, in a confined space for an extended period of time. It also involves a contrast dye being injected into me which I believe requires a intravenous drip or at the very least a needle.
I’m half expecting a car full of spiders and a room full of snakes to join me this morning, as hubby takes some time off work to accompany me for my MRI. I’m anxious to say the least and looking for interesting ways to combat my fears and get me through the morning.
I’ve clearly left it too late for a 30 day intensive phobia treatment plan and I’m completely hopeless when it comes to meditation.
Having a visual to focus on might be my best plan of attack. This could go two ways. I could visualise positive things or I could imagine hubby in a room full of spiders facing his fears. Now there’s a thought.
What I think I will do instead, is think about my Top 5 Blog projects that are currently in the pipeline for March:
- Lunch is on Me Callouts – Guest bloggers and lunch reviews
- Top 10 Places to Brunch in Perth
- Fitness Fashion Style Challenge – Giveaway and Mystery Shopping
- Worth Casing Awards Round 2 and presenting our winner from Round 1
- It’s a SIGN?! Instagram photo challenge and paying it forward project.
Do you have any fears, irrational or otherwise and how do you tackle them? Do you have any tips for me?