The warts and all interview with my husband that included my mother-in-law, Miss 13 and a mystery man with some disturbing results. It’s a wonder Mr C was able to string a sentence together and we’ve survived almost 20 years of marriage.
Who ever said ‘things can only get better’ has a lot to answer for here…..
Mr C: If Kylie asked you to jump off a bridge would you?
ME: Yes, probably. Especially if there was a blog post in it. Can we start the interview now? Please. (Noticing that my mother-in-law (MIL) has now joined us)
Q: What’s the best part about being married to Raychael?
MR C: What? That doesn’t seem like a generic question. You’re typing my every word. hahahahah excellent. Chuckle Chuckle Chuckle. Are you feeling needy?
ME: (to MIL): I might need an interpreter here.
MIL: Hang on, he’s been away from home for a long time for me to interpret or adjudicate or to take him back.
ME: Would you like to start that one again? and hang on.. what did you just say MIL?! I had an option to return him at some point?
MR C: (Using a rather sarcastic tone) Obviously all the cooking, cleaning and housework she does.
Q: What’s the worst part about being married to Raychael?
MR C: Obviously all the cooking, cleaning and housework she does.
Q: What is Raychael’s most annoying habit?
ME: Oh hang on I think I might need to rephrase this question.
MR C: Adopting orphaned African children.
ME: What? You can’t say that! Apart from not having a scerric of truth in it, it’s not even funny, it’s possibly offensive. I’m actually offended. Were you going for funny or just trying to distract from the fact you have so many annoying habits to choose from you are finding it hard to pick just one? I’m about to get really annoying if that is the case.
MR C: haahahaha
ME: This really isn’t going well.
MIL: (in the process of leaving the room) How about asking too many personal questions and blogging about the results.
Q: What is Raychael’s most endearing habit?
MR C: Do I have to be serious now?
ME: WHAT?!!!! You weren’t being serious before?
MR C: Mothering not smothering
MIL: (Remains out of the room and rather silent for this one and I find myself wanting to smother someone at this point.)
Q: What do you admire most about Raychael?
MR C: (Still laughing at me, rubbing his chin and hmmmmmming) How about your ability to motivate everyone around you.
ME: OK, I’m choosing to think that is a good thing and now moving on but before we do, go grab me a glass of water.
Q: What do you enjoy most about being a dad?
MR C: The ability to still get away with doing childish things.
Q: What do you least enjoy about being a dad?
MR C: Lack of sleep and the ability to buy my own clothing without several opinions.
MIL: (re-enters the room with the cat that is deciding if he should adopt our family) You never had any ability when it came to selecting your wardrobe.
CAT: MEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWW-OWWWWWW-MEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW (interpreted as… look at me, look at me now, I’m going to continue to interrupt this interview if you don’t feed me NOW!)
ME: Clearly, everyone wants in on this interview. Should I ask Miss 14 & Miss 16 to join us? (They quickly make their escape out the back door, taking the cat with them.)
Q: What was your favourite thing to do with Raychael before you had kids?
MR C: That’s a loaded question.
ME: It doesn’t have to be.
MIL: Well you have kids. hahahahahahahah
(I’m pretty sure MIL was implying that it was the activity that produced the children that may have been ‘the’ activity. I’m feeling rather uncomfortable at this stage and Mr C looks like he might throw up.)
MR C: I was going to say going out to nice restaurants on the spur of the moment but there you go, my mother seems to have nailed this question for me. (Nailed possibly being the operative word here – I’m still feeling uncomfortable).
(fits of nervous laughter from everyone)
Q: What do you miss doing with Raychael now you have kids and limited time?
MR C: See above.
Q: What is your most hated household chore?
MR C: I don’t hate any chores. Hmm weeding because it’s never ending.
ME: Aren’t all chores never ending? Clearly, I need to give you more chores if you love them so much!
Q: What is your least hated household chore?
MR C: Urgh, I don’t know. I don’t mind washing up.
ME: That’s a bit rich coming from someone that has admitted on a number of occasions over the 20 years I’ve known you that you completely hated washing up as a child. I’m pretty sure you referred to it as a form of torture.
MIL: Rubbish! It wasn’t a form of torture. One child had to wash up and the other dry up.
MR C: (Choosing his words very carefully here and doing very well not to roll his eyes) I said that I would never inflict nightly washing or drying up on my girls.
Q: What’s your favourite thing to cook?
MR C: Hmm, I’m enjoying slow cooked curried chicken at the moment.
ME: But that’s not really cooking, is it?! Isn’t that throwing everything in and hoping for the best, it’s not like you do much more than chop and combine.
MR C: It’s still cooking.
MIL: (Quickly jumps to her son’s cooking defense with the ins and outs of slow cooking and is now available for a slow cooking documentary and debate on the subject.)
(thirty two minutes and 14 slow cooker recipes later)
Q: What do you think annoys Raychael most about you?
MR C: How about we go with my job when it takes me away from home too often.
MIL: But in saying that the job pays the bills.
ME (replying to MIL): When he first signed on there was no talk of travel and that is the part of your job that annoys me because it impacts on our family and a lot of my work opportunities. Like not being able to attend ProBlogger again this year because he will be at sea and someone needs to be here for our girls.
MR C: What? NO, nothing annoys you.
MISS 13: (Quickly lists ten things that have annoyed me since we started this interview and then moves on to the everyday annoyances.)
MR C: I’m not that annoying. Next question please.
MISS 13: (Looking at the next question) Ohhh this next one is going to be a hard one.
Q: What do you think Raychael loves most about you?
MR C: Hahahahah. How about my sense of humour and my caring nature.
MR C: That’s an egotistical question. So you want me to list my best attributes? Aren’t you best to answer this question?
ME: NO. I’m not interviewing myself here.
ME: (after a long silence) How we see things could be different. It could be the make or break of if we need marriage counselling or not.
MISS 13: What’s marriage counselling?
MR C: Am I missing something here? Is this really a blog challenge or a questionnaire to decide if we need marriage counselling or not? How are we doing?
ME: Alright enough already. How about we just look at our wedding vows and the fact you agreed in front of all our family and friends to cook, clean and slave after me for as long as I live! You seem to have used that for a number of answers already.
Q: What do you think is the secret to a happy marriage?
Mr C: Understanding and the ability to provide blog post material.
MIL: Give and take, and consideration for each other.
MISS 13: True LOVE. NOW can I just ask, when you married, were the dinosaurs still around?!