8 Rules to Live Your Life by

8 Rules to Live Your Life by
 

I must confess, I’ve been more than reflective since starting my online business diploma with Business Mamas.  Only a month in, I’m currently finalising assessments for my first module and already reaping the rewards. A new mindset, a new more rounded approach to life, with my eyes firmly set on the end prize. An online business built on solid foundations. A new and improved, more balanced me which translates to a new and improved, more balanced life.

 

Today, I’m sharing my top 8 Rules to Live Your Life by which are possibly a little disjointed and will need revisiting this time next year, once I’ve finished my course and launched my new business.

 

 

Save yourself first

 

Like most mothers, I’m guilty of putting everyone else’s needs and wants before my own. Any other approach had me burdened with guilt and feeling over indulgent. It’s only recently that I’ve done an about turn in this regard and have almost turned my to do list upside down. Exercise and sleep were the first to go when I was time poor and another example of how I really wasn’t looking after myself first. These are now top priorities.

 

I’m no longer an afterthought or last on the list. I like to think of it as an emergency drill on an aircraft. You are always told to fit your oxygen mask first before helping anyone else and that’s what I’m now doing in life. Looking after myself first, so I’m in a better position to help others. It sounds so simple but it just makes sense. So much sense. A lot like Kelly Exeter’s manifesto for life…

 

A manifesto for a simple life

 Kelly Exeter | 10 ways life is simpler than we think

 

Kindness doesn’t need to be random

 

Why are we so focused on random acts of kindness and do we really need to be cruel to be kind? Well occasionally yes and as someone that audits and looks for the negatives before the positives, I do come across as rather negative most of the time. I don’t have much time for partaking in the whole positive, positive, negative followed by a final positive to keep things well… positive BUT it is something I’m acutely aware of and also something I’m working on.

 

To compensate, I regularly schedule Random Acts of Kindness. I do worry that they are now turning into grand gestures and would prefer to adopt a more positive and kind approach to my everyday life because kindness really shouldn’t be a random thing. Should it?

 

 

Collaborate good times

 

TEAM = Together Everyone Achieves More
 

Since launching the blog and throwing what was a rather mysterious existence and business into the limelight, I’ve been careful not to fall into the comparison trap which can lead to a rather miserable game of survival of the fittest bloggiest.

 

It’s generally not how I do things. Online or off. I’m honestly too busy doing my own thing but that doesn’t mean I’m self absorbed and only looking out for myself.

 

The people that spend the time to get to know me and what I’m really about, appreciate how generous I am with my time and my experience. I like to support those that need or want it and I don’t buy into the competitive side of people. It just doesn’t sit right. A bit like being back in high school, only I avoided the whole competitiveness back then as well.

 

For the record, the only person I’m actually in competition with is myself and this is the only competition that I find healthy, in life and in blogging terms. Collaboration on the other hand inspires a sense of community and benefits everyone involved.

 

I’ve always adopted a collaborative approach to business, blogging and life. I like to share my success and experience but not in a rub your nose in it sense. More to inspire and bring others along for the ride but also for me to learn and grow at the same time because I’m far from knowing it all.

 

As far as I’m concerned, there is more than enough room for everyone to be successful. Just imagine the possibilities if we took away the competitiveness and concentrated on our own strengths and passions, supporting others when we can.

 

Blog Exchange, a blog collaborate which I launched with like minded bloggers recently, is a great example of this. An evolving community with endless possibilities, where the more you put in, the more you are going to get out of it. Together everyone achieves more!

 

 

Find your theme song and follow your wildest dreams

 

I’m acutely aware that happiness is a habit and a state of mind. It is something that comes from within and if you go looking for things or outside influences to find your happy place, you are just going to end up miserable. Been there, done that!

 

I’ve always had a thing for theme songs and music in general. It has the potential to change your mood and inspire. I think it is important to listen to your heart, discover what makes it sing and find your passion in life.

 

While it would be nice to be able to earn a decent living from your passions, it’s not always possible but finding a way to incorporate some of your life passions into your day to day life is the next best thing. Discovering what your true passions are in the first place can be an exercise in itself.

 

Have you found your passion in life? Was it hard to find or something sitting right under your nose? Do you have a theme song?

 

 

Water wise

 

Blood might be thicker than water but unless you are a vampire, water is a hell of a lot easier to swallow. Not all of us have an ideal upbringing or family support system and not every family fits the mould. Family means different things to different people and I don’t buy into the whole blood is thicker than water theory. Your family is where you find it and that might not necessarily mean blood ties.

 

 

You don’t need to be dying to start living

 

you don't need to be dying to start living Zach Sobiech

 

It took a major health issue that is somewhat life limiting with the potential to be life threatening for me to appreciate I wasn’t living. I was in a major rut. I was only just existing and caught up in the every day busyness that comes with being a wife and mother to three daughters as well as all the rest.

 

If you feel like you are just existing, it might be time to question why and seek help. Do a mini audit and ascertain what areas in your life aren’t so balanced and need work. For me, it is a constant work in progress to find that elusive balance. When things are going great in one area, it is generally at the expense of another area.

 

In terms of self worth and living life, I found starting a bucket list of sorts, disguised as my One New Thing (each week) challenge was an interesting way forward. It’s been almost three years now of attempting something new each week. Some weeks are more impressive than others but it is all a step in the right direction. Right?

 

 

Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear

 

As you already know, I recently commenced an online business diploma with Business Mamas. A course that will help me finally achieve my business goals. My only regret, is that I didn’t start sooner. What was stopping me? A variety of different things but in the end they really were just obstacles, possibly driven by fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure and fear in general.

 

A lot like when I commence a new exercise regime and I have it in my mind that I need to go out and purchase new gear before I can start, instead of just popping on my old sneakers and some comfy clothing. These are just obstacles, standing in my way of starting.

 

The reality is, I just need to change my mindset and start already. Put one foot in front of the other and stop over complicating matters. Set mini goals, so I’m not overwhelmed but still focus on the much bigger picture. The end result.

 

While the business course is a huge investment, which possibly justifies so many obstacles (real and imagined) standing in my way before staring, so is exercise for me at the moment with ongoing health issues which is why I feel comfortable comparing the two.

 

businessmamafear
 

Why wait? What obstacles are standing in your way? Are they merely distractions that disguise the real obstacle… fear?!

 

 

Rules are made to be broken

 

Rules are meant to be broken. I’m not suggesting you break the law here but I am suggesting especially in terms of living your life to the fullest, you need to question if there isn’t a better way forward for you.

 

Don’t get so set in your ways, sticking to the unwritten rules or self-imposed boundaries you’ve created over the years and let your life become stagnant.

 

Without even realising we take on the misconceptions of others, especially our parents. We’ve grown up with these misconceptions and over time they inadvertently become our own.

 

Don’t let the rules you’ve adopted due to someone else’s misconceptions and life experiences continue to be your own.

 

Ask the silly questions. Don’t be afraid to break rules. Live some of your life outside your comfort zone, it’s where the fun and real sense of achievement happens.

 

I appreciate I should be expanding and offering my personal take on the misconceptions I’ve adopted but rather than being a case of not really knowing where to start, it’s definitely not knowing where to finish that is stopping me in my blogging tracks for this one. A topic that no doubt deserves a blog post or therapy session of its own.

 

 

Do you have any rules or self-imposed boundaries that are holding you back?

What rules do you like to live your life by?

What are you waiting for?

 

 

 

I’m proud to be a Business Mamas Ambassador and will be blogging about my business diploma endeavours over the next 12 months. Any questions? Just ask!

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Managing Editor of Agent Mystery Case. Follow Raychael aka Mystery Case on her mystery adventures 'casing' people, products and places to bring you her worth casing favourites.
  • “everything you want is on the other side of fear” this one totally resonates for me!
    Like you starting your course… I started my blog and wished I had done it 5 years earlier but…. fear stood in the way.

    some great rules to be guided by here. thanks so much for sharing and for being so lovely and generous in the bloggersphere 😉 xx

    • I wish I’d started blogging five years earlier too. The blog and my approach would have looked so different to what it is now.

  • Oh I love this. What great rules to live by. I love that Zach Sobiech quote and I think Kelly’s manifesto is awesome. I don’t have any rules as such, but I prefer not to count the days but make the days count!

    • I love that about not counting the days but making them count.

  • I like the water one. I think we sometimes get better treatment and more support (and offer the same) to those we’ve selected in life, rather than those that are just there….(I put that other side of fear up on fb about 2 days ago, so obviously I like that too!)

    • The fear one has resonated with me a lot lately.

  • jess

    LOVE this Raych. Definitely aligns with some of my life rules, although I never really thought I had any.

    • I suppose they are more values than rules but in terms of this week’s prompt for I must confess, they kind of work. I thought of you when I eventually came up with 8.

  • Great rules to live by Raychael. LOVE that ‘TEAM (together everyone achieves more)’ – I have never seen that before and love it!!

    • I love that in a team, as long as everyone is a team player, really does achieve more.

  • Vicki the Fashionable Mum

    I totally love this post! A lot of them resonate with me and I’ve bookmarked this to read more carefully when I have more time.

    Being in the middle of taking a leap of faith and becoming the stylist that I know has always been within me, means I’m having to set myself some new goals to push myself out of my comfort zone. “You miss 100% of the shots that you never take” is one of my current rules to live by.

    • I also like… ‘If you never try, you will never know’.

  • I LOVE both those sayings “You don’t have to be dying to start living” and “Everything you want is on the other side of fear”… these are 2 that most definitely resonate with me and that I need to start taking on board!

    • The photo of you sitting in the middle of the road would make a good backdrop for one of these sayings.

  • Love this today Raychael. I feel I am finally getting on the right track and not going to let fear get in the way of thinking bigger.

    • That’s great to hear Julie. Sometimes is also very much the time factor that gets in the road but if you are determined and it is something you really want to do, you will find a way.

  • So much wisdom here. I know that I tend to over-think things too much instead of just doing it and it all comes down to fear. Great rules. xo

    • I’m not sure about wisdom Ness, more my crazy ideas and approach to life. I too tend to over think things. I think following Kelly’s manifesto and keeping it simple helps.

  • I *love* this sentence Raych: As far as I’m concerned, there is more than enough room for everyone to be successful. Amen to that!!! And regarding not-so-random-acts-of-kindness, I undertook a project one year to make sure I did purposeful acts of kindness every fortnight (when we got paid) … it was so much fun … I really must blog about it one of these days!

  • Thanks Janet. Yes, please blog about it. I think keeping the random acts simple rather than grand gestures might be a more practical way to practice this more.

  • I love your one new thing idea…it could just be getting “stolen”…as for a theme song? I’m more of a playlist kinda girl, but mine would be My Way- as sung by Robbie Williams…or John Lennon’s Imagine…although some days Robbie’s Karma Killer is more appropriate!

    • I’ve often thought I should bring more of the One New Thing to the blog, in the hope that others might actually join in and inspire me. Keen to hear what you are getting up to if you do decide to start doing this.

      My theme song, well it is more a soundtrack these days… starts with REM’s Losing My Religion.

  • Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear… I have just realised that this is me. I come across all confident but keep hiding behind my fear that what I want I am no go at… I getting there though

    • Nothing wrong with faking it until you make it. You just need to believe in yourself and not be a copycat along the way.

  • I love this post in so many ways. Definitely words to live by. So pleased the course is helping you to finally prioritise YOU!

  • Thanks Kirsty. Still a long way to go but I finally feel like I’m on the right track.

  • So wise!! I love these!!! Have a great week! xx

    • Thanks Lucy. My week has been for the most part offline. Lots of networking and sinking my teeth into the study side of things. Hope you’ve had a great week.

  • Everything I have ever wanted has always been on the other side of fear – including living my life. Being extremely shy and zero self confidence has manifested many a challenge for me over my years. Maturity and being faced with much adversity saw me challenge that fear on oh so many levels. The fear comes in waves as does the strength but I have to say I’m pretty proud of the way I have managed to push through and I’m determined to keep doing so. Kelly Exeter’s take on “Wobbly Courage is still Courage” is something we should all share with our children and invest our own belief in. Great post Raychael. I love every word. Xx

    • Thanks Sandra. Fear can be a good thing as well. It stops us in our tracks and possibly gives us the breathing space we need to move forward in certain areas.

  • I love everything on this post. The balancing part resonates much to what I’m struggling now. So difficult to find. xx cathy

    • I’m struggling with the whole balance thing at the moment as well. I’ve only blogged once this week. So unlike me.

  • I need to nail number 1 first then I think that the rest will fall into place. I need to constantly remind myself that it is a good thing to look after myself first.

    • I think you are right about nailing no 1 first. I’m struggling to find balance at the moment but rather than give up sleep or exercise, I’ve been cutting back on the blogging side of things. Funnily enough the world, as I know it, didn’t end.

  • Great post! I love Kelly’s manifesto and the TEAM quote. I’ve bookmarked this post to come back to again later.

    • I love both quotes too. Especially Kelly’s quote.

  • I was so surprised to find that the blogging community is actually really supportive and not as competitive or cut-throat as I imagined it would be. Sure, I’d have liked to have started ages ago too but now that I have, I’m enjoying it and being part of the Blog Exchange has been brilliant!

    • I’ve unfortunately experienced the cut-throat and competitiveness but then again Perth is rather small. Probably why I started Blog Exchange in the first place. Hoping to connect with like minded bloggers and look at the positives again.

  • Thank you for sharing these! I can’t wait to see what life looks like on the other side of this course for you. Exciting times ahead.

    • I honestly can’t wait. In the interim though, with the first module all about profiling myself and the business, I’m over thinking just about everything at the moment.

  • How exciting about the course and great rules to live by! I love that manifesto of Kelly’s.

  • I love Kelly’s manifesto too. I must print it out (is that allowed?) and hang it on my new office wall.

  • Sounds like the course is having an enormous benefit Raychael! I love these rules – no. 1 I struggle with a lot. I try to liken it to what flight attendants say in the safety briefings – fasten your own oxygen mask before trying to help others – but it’s actually quite difficult to put yourself first!

    • Yes, I think it is. Although, it doesn’t leave much time for blogging at the moment.

  • My goodness there is some wise food for thought to ponder here, Raych. This course is clearly suiting you well. The ‘fear’ thing I’m thinking about the most. I’m not entirely convinced that we always have to conquer fear in order to achieve… but maybe. x

  • I wouldn’t say you need to conquer fear to achieve. If we could embrace fear, recognise it or what it is and use those feelings to motivate us rather than stop us in our tracks.