Hi, I’m Raychael and I have not one but two invisible illnesses. There I said it.
For the most part, I’ve mastered the all-is-well disguise. I plaster on the war paint and smiles, only sharing snippets of the better times both online and off. It’s still not picture perfect but it’s better than my current reality.
Lately though, I’m finding my reality exhausting and I’m wanting an outlet. If I’m honest I’m wanting an out.
Although, I’m not convinced this is the right outlet or that anyone (including myself) really needs to see this side of me.
** the good, the bad and the keeping it friggin real side of me **
(yes half my face has drooped, yes I’m 90% grey, yes I’m getting good at disguising this)
My reality isn’t new to me but more than a few things came to a head this week. Literally.
It would seem the stress of this week’s medical tests (including MRI – brain scan) well and truly caught up with me, resulting in a rather rare sleep goal being reached this week. For those that are new to the blog, I’ve been tracking my sleep since October when hubby gifted me a Jawbone up fitness band.
This is only the second occasion (I believe) that I’ve reached my sleep goal since I started tracking my sleep. Generally I average three to four hours a night. It’s just not enough. With ongoing health issues, it’s hard to know if my sleep patterns are a symptom or a contributing factor. I suspect both.
With a good night sleep under my belt and MRI results looming, I was in the right (or possibly wrong) head space to take stock.
With hubby heading to sea next month, managing my health and being in the best condition I can be (under the circumstances) is crucial if I’m going to pull off the whole temporary single parent gig, not to mention all the projects (blogging and otherwise) that I have on the go.
In an effort to get my health and life back on track (as much as I can under the current health circumstances), I will be undertaking five weeks of wellbeing. Kick starting next week with a five day juice cleanse with Pure Glow Cleanse.
Why 5 Weeks of Wellbeing?
I want to emphasis at this point that this isn’t some quick or easy fix. This isn’t a temporary measure. This is very much something I need to do to get my life even remotely back on track. I can’t begin to explain just how off track things are at the moment. I don’t really want to. I’m not at rock bottom but I’m not far from it.
For me, this is all about wellbeing for life.
Tests this week, only confirmed how bad things are and while I’ve been resolved of the outcome for some time, there was a slight glimmer of hope with these latest tests. That hope has now gone and a further issue has been thrown into the mix. Another curve ball. So I’m needing to take some time out over the weekend, to once again digest the cards I’ve been dealt and move forward.
A big part of moving forward, has me wanting to hit the reset button on just about everything and everyone.
I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of gal and for me, this really is the best way forward. I’m refusing to let my ongoing and chronic health issues consume and control my life. In short, I want my bloody life back. I want to be able to make plans for the future and stop living day-to-day. I’m not sure if that’s possible right now but I’m not willing to wait around doing nothing in the meantime.
As much as I need it, this isn’t about weight loss. In fact I believe with the Thyroid auto-immune disease side of things (just part of the issue) weight loss is near impossible and probably a contributing factor to my weight gain over the last twelve months.
This is about being as healthy and well as I possibly can under the circumstances. This is about letting go of the old version of me that I have in my head. This is about moving forward, one unsteady step at a time and then hopefully moving way beyond that.
As I mentioned earlier, this isn’t going to be for everyone and it isn’t necessarily what I want to be openly blogging about. Next month, the health side of things (Pieces of Me) will be under lock and key as part of a sealed section on the blog because I appreciate this side of me, isn’t exactly for everyone.
The lighter side of life, including some of my wellbeing endeavours that may benefit more than most, will continue to feature here occasionally. Still maintaining my keeping it real approach to things just focusing more on the positives.
With chronic health issues, my journey to wellbeing needed to start with a trip to my GP. Which seems strange given how often I’m there but after almost 2 years with little to no real results, I’m looking at all my options. I’m looking for a new and different approach.
There’s a reason this is on the top of my wellbeing list. Possibly because I’m having trouble digesting the latest health news but it’s also one of the areas that impacts my life the most.
Sometimes I fear my digestive tract is beyond help. I have more than a few issues here and function better without gluten in my diet.
Without necessarily wanting to undertake an elimination diet (or any diet for that matter), I’m needing to give my digestive track a rest.
The best way to do this, for me, is a juice cleanse. As I’m wanting a more substantial five day cleanse and given my health issues I needed to take the nutritional guess work out of the equation and turn to the experts, Pure Glow Cleanse.
Thanks to the gorgeous and glowing Annette from Pure Glow Cleanse, I’m also looking for one of my Perth followers to ‘case’ their one day cleanse, next month. If this is something that might interest you, keep an eye on the blog for a callout aka GIVEAWAY coming soon. If you have any questions or concerns about juice cleanses in the meantime, I would love to hear them.
I will be following my five day cleanse up with three weeks of raw food. Nothing over the top just getting back to basics with my fruit and vegetables.
NOW to anyone rolling their sugar loving eyes at this point. I hear you. Loud and clear. BUT I also think you need to walk a day in my sick shoes to appreciate just why I need to take this approach.
I will be looking for interesting and low impact ways to increase my fitness.
At the moment, I’m limited to what I can do here. I’ve only just recently been given the go slow go ahead to return to exercising after 12 months off. Following three unexplained falls, which resulted in a busted rib and a popped shoulder, I’ve lost all confidence and will be following doctors orders to the letter.
For now, walking seems like the only real way forward but even this is proving a challenge due to swelling and numbness in my legs and arms but I’m also casing Pilates, Yoga and water aerobics as possible contenders.
I’m still trying to pinpoint this side of things. I suppose it’s the day-to-day things that make life easier and worth living. It’s also keeping my mental health on track so that I’m in the right frame of mind to tackle all the curve balls thrown my way.
This is about looking after myself, even when I don’t have the energy. About how I spend my time. This is about learning to say no and not feeling the need to explain myself each and every time. It’s about managing anxiety. It’s about living my life with limitations but still having purpose. This is very much about finding peace while living with an invisible illness (or two).
What does Wellbeing for Life mean to you? What parts of my wellbeing journey would you like to see hit the blog?
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